Classroom Conduct:
* Do not open any snack item that is noisy enough to make it hard for others to hear the professor
* While on the topic of food: If you must eat, do so with your mouth closed and do not eat things which have an offensive odor. Soup you slurp, chomping on extra crunchy potato chips and that tuna sandwich with chopped fresh scallion your mother packed for you today all tops the list of do-not-bring-to-class goodies please & thanks.
* Do not clack loudly with your fake nails on your laptop when we all know you’re not typing notes but checking to see what replies your online journal has incurred, adding things to your amazon wish list we all know you will never obtain and scouring your gmail account for messages from your internet boyfriend you have never met who is actually a 300 lb 49 year old man.
* Do not repeatedly click your retractable highlighters, continuously tap your pencil on your desk, nervously jiggle your foot or any other reprehensible audible infraction that is sure to make the hot girl next to you want to stab you in the eye rather than comply with your inquiries regarding a date.
* sneeze or cough into a tissue – if you don‘t have one at least cough into the crook of your arm
* others: perfume/cologne: (keep it at a minimum Don Juan), sleeping (drool isn’t cute and your snoring is another one of those audible infractions), big hair – have the decency to sit in the back as not to block others view with that out of control thang & lastly.. do not pass notes – we are no longer in 1st grade
* Return emails in a timely fashion, and texts (if possible) – I had an awkward situation just recently with a guy from my gym that asked me about plans later for that week, I did not reply right away and walked right into the gym and he was there. He was not happy to see me. Wonder why?
* Too much capitalization/punctuation is a no-no
* Keep it short and simple – being a Philosophy major I like to think of this as the internets ockham’s razor
* While keeping it short/simple, do not confuse the recipient with too much abbreviation (OMG FYI LYSFM BFF TTUL!)
* Emoticons are for a certain time/place – do not use in work emails (an obvious I suspect?)
* IMing: if a person does not reply right away or even in 5 minutes, assume they cannot talk at the moment or do not want to talk to you at all. Do not send a barrage of HELLO’s!??????????? ???????????? Unnecessary and unlikely to make them come back any faster.
* Thy shall not spameth thee: seriously? Spam is the equivalent of junk mail in your P.O. Box: you get excited you’re so popular and then your hopes are dashed when you see a pile of poorly designed pamphlets and weak promises of discounts at a store offering products no girl in her right mind would purchase anyhow.
* Twitter: not to be used for: personal hygiene updates/work related gripes (again – should be self-evident no?)
* When on a date (especially a first one) not interrogate her/him, it should feel like a light getting-to-know you session not a cross-examination
* Do not be so eager to please: name-dropping, bragging about whatever you may think will impress your date etc. Just don’t.
* When going on a date when you know you will not be able to change from your business attire please notify your date of this beforehand so she will not show up in a tee and her favorite pair of True Religions
* Do not answer your cell phone in a crowded area (e.g. the bus, in queue at Starbucks..you get the idea) unless it is truly imperative.
Have Questions On:
- Wedding Etiquette?
- How Teens Should Act
- Proper Etiquette Within A Relationship
- Life In General
- Class With The Countess from The Real Housewives of New York
